Old Mail..

Going through old mail is fucking tough.

It feels good deleting all of it though..

I mean, it's obvious that memories are (mostly) everlasting and that you will still remember the moments that were written in those messages, what the conversations were about, and the actual writings of those messages. But it's different in the sense that a message is a concrete memory, similar to pictures.

The people who use to be in your lives, the way you use to speak/write, etc..

Just thinking of the people you use to associate with and looking at how fucked up people are to this day and what they've done between the days of the messaging and this day now..

I'm happy with how everyone is positioned now. I'm really happy for everyone..

One day..

One day I may be sitting in a dark corner, head between my knees, hands behind my head, scared..

Will someone help me, or can I not be helped to begin with??

But if I ignore those who feel I may have a problem or may be mentally troubled and just wait...wait...things will be better..

You'll see me getting up slowly, but in a stronger fashion then I would have if I were to be given a hand.

So I just make the situation seem good even though it may be far from it, both because I know people will respect my space and also because I know I will reach something I never could have dreamed of..

I wouldn't be lying though. I just look at what's to come and know that I can handle myself, so therefore my situation is good, great actually.

So I just collect all the love, remember it, and hold on to it. I know it's all there, and it's greatly appreciated. So in return, I'll carry it along with me when the time comes for me to shine like I never have before..